First Step Forward

how long the road I did not know

Traditional religion just didn’t do it for me from a very young age. I couldn’t get the God in heaven and we all went to hell thing and born with sin etc. After I finished the Cosmic Consciousness book, I was thirsty for more of this kind of writing. I went back to the library on the fourth floor back in the stacks. I found a few writings by Joel Goldsmith, remember this is in 1975. You wouldn’t know his writings were there unless you literally stumbled upon them. He taught that when we acknowledge internally something as the Presence, God, we will follow a different path. We’ll start doing things and physically manifest all that we need and more without looking out at the world to provide. This was way ahead of where I was at the time with my awareness or even my language in it, but I read it voraciously. It screamed at me this was the truth I was seeking. I wasn’t even certain that this was really my path either. Trust became a huge issue in this part of my journey and probably be one in yours too.

There are many paths to the mountain top.

I was not ready to accept that fully. I was young and I remember saying to myself, “No one will believe me because I’m so young”. I saw myself standing at the bottom of a mountain with no real path in sight. All I could see was this huge steep mountain right in front me that looked dangerous actually to climb but something was telling me to climb. It did cause some things to happen I could not explain. I shared that I wound up on the fourth floor of the library without being able to explain how. I remember my foot crossing the line in the sidewalk outside and then I’m on the fourth floor. I had those dreams of the concert and the musicians as beings of pure light. I had the door openings on their own. That time it was raining and I pulled into the drive, turned off the engine and just sat there. My wife asked, “What are you waiting for?” I said for the rain to stop and then it did. All those things actually happened with me.

I didn’t stop.

I read and made little notes of his writings. IF I came to something that didn’t feel right, I paused. I sat and thought but not like put it together this way and then add that. No, I didn’t realize it, but I was already performing rudimentary meditation. I asked myself a question. “Why does this not feel right?” “What do I have to accept first for this to make sense?” I intrinsically understood all the pieces didn’t fit for me. It wasn’t a complete picture. Why? (we’re going to lose that word along the way I was just informed)

My life to that point had not been the smoothest trip I ever took. I needed to learn this new way of thinking so I could process all that had happened to me to this point. It led me to this:

I was preparing the soil to plant the garden.