Obituary by Me
Summarized it simply
My life or not my life, that is the question.
Born, adopted, found that out the harder way, teased unmercifully, sexually abused at 12, went away to school freshman year, further disassociation from family, lost/actually freely gave away, virginity at 16, late bloomer, college yes, degreed, masters achieved, self-employed, employment successful by most standards, made money somehow along the way. Lots of people to help me spend what I made. Too many. Near the end of the race dropped the facade. Health challenges all along the way, first surgery at 5, second at 9, still used ether back then. Strange hallucinations I had on that stuff, so called recreational drugs never came close, I tried though, I tried, 3rd surgery at 19, 4th at 42 now we’re really serious, cancer again at 47, treatments for the treatments still ongoing but I’m still here at 72. Not as fast as I used to be or as long off the tee but still getting around.
Important facts- adopted 3, 2 adopted me, 45 passed through, loved, tried, failed, got back up, deep dived spiritually, deep dived for love, splash, crash and burn. How could it cost more than I earned?
I loved the very few quiet times, sitting in the yard, watching the horses do their thing, listening to the kids playing and pausing when they laughed to listen, God’s greater gifts unseen, swimming, fishing, skiing, special place for golf, hope they have it wherever I wind up or I’m coming back here to have one more go. Sending flowers to their work, taking them places they wouldn’t go on their own, giving them things they wouldn’t buy for themselves and sharing those moments they actually loved. I loved most of those too but not all it’s true. I smiled every day for them if not for me, I met them where they were. Didn’t forget what I knew I missed so I tried to make sure they didn’t. Sometimes we do so the other one gets to say thank you. Bruised and battered I might be, but I will walk across a finish line and look back and say I got up, I loved, I lived. Can you?
It’s good to know a little more about you and even better you feel like you achieved what you wanted to and still have more to give. I hope I have done my best for my family too and have lots more years to give more 🌹
The list that opens this — adopted, abused, degreed, cancelled by cancer, still golfing at 72 — doesn't read as biography. It reads as evidence. The accumulation isn't for pathos; it's for the final calculation: still standing. You built a form that mimics the obituary but refuses to be one. "Can you?" isn't a challenge. It's the question you had to ask yourself first, many times, before it could become rhetorical.